never play flip cup with pint glasses
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
