Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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