In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You may now shotgun with the bride
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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