Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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