So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize