Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
