garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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