In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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