Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
