Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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