you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
