this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
