that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize