Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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