Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
