1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wish my penis had an off switch
My hand turned me down
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
