Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
