There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
