super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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