I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think I just sharted jello shots
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
