So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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