haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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