WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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