I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
