she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
