Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
