should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize