You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The Olympian is in my bed
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
