Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
