come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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