is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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