thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
