Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
