doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
