Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dignity is for republicans.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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