She is in my trunk
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
