I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
