i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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