why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
