i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize