Taylor Swift is so right about you.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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