If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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