dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
