I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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