i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
