Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
