So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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