Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
