Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
