just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
