I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
this is an emotional support booty call
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
