This girl is more easily done than said...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's official drugs can't kill me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
