I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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