So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize