i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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