it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
