i think i have herpe
just one?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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