He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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