Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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