I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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