I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize