The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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