He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
