the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
