You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
