p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
