I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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