I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
