Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
