There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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