the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
